Feeling physically stronger, more conscious about my body but yet my minds seems to wander like a ghost.
More than wishing to be whole i have to learn to want it.
For so many years i gave away the idea of having plans to survive the turmoil of my love life that i realize now that i'm alone i can have 'that' back.
I can desire other places, i can dream of making my own steps and not be crushed by dash expectations.
It sounds obvious but rationally knowing something doesn't equal your heart learning it at the speed of your thoughts.
Maybe to start i just needed to write this - it feels similar to when one says out loud something that one is afraid but kept as a secret and suddenly as the words come out all the fear seems to fade away.
Less hologram, i feel more like myself already.